http://www.articlesfactory.com/articles/psychology/how-to-be-charming.html
How to be charming is an important question to ask for any man wishing to advance in its seduction skillset. Why?
In a study by the University of Waterloo, 85% of respondents (men and women) reported that the charm was the main reason for their attraction for each other.
Some are born with a natural charm. Others are not so lucky.
The good news is that having charm can be learned. There exist some good techniques to charm in everyday communication with others.
Once we understand what people "charming" do and we train at it, it becomes part of our personality.
The charm is a very beneficial tool in social relations and vital in seduction, so far as to add strength to the game and life in general.
Practice charm
The charm can be defined as art to tell the other that you like / you like it, without expecting anything in return. Follows the following list:
1. The smile and eye contact are the two allies of a charmer. Never forget to watch the other in the eye when you talk to people and smile.
2. Be charming, but also learn to compliment each other. If you do not know hot to make compliments, here is a method that might work: Imagine what you would enjoy and tell a similar compliment to the other. The difference between charm and flattery is that flattery has a purpose. I'm flattered that you give me what I want. Charm is a way of being rather than a mean to get something.
3. The charm has to be sincere. It is more powerful when you think what you are saying.
4. The charm is pleasant and light
5. The secret of charm is to be unselfish. You should look for anything in return, not even a reaction. (Obviously you'll often and very positive)
6. The charm means to achieve self-confidence, not conceit.
For someone who is not very accustomed to behave well, it takes practice. Where to start? No matter. Practice with your mother, your sister, your dog, your neighbor, your father, vote boss, your teacher, your friends or even strangers you meet on the street corner. Practice simply and enjoy it!
You'll also be impressed to see how people are charming show in return.
And keep in mind that the key to its charm is not to overdo it.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Depression may up risk of a leaky bladder in women
By Rachael Myers Lowe
NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Older women who suffer from major depression are at greater risk of developing urinary incontinence than women of the same age who are not depressed, new research shows.
Since urinary incontinence and depression often occur together in women, Dr. Jennifer Melville from the University of Washington in Seattle and colleagues set out to determine if a causal relationship exists between the two conditions.
Previous studies demonstrated a high rate of depression among women being treated for urinary incontinence but none had examined whether one condition led to the other.
Melville's team hypothesized that because the brain chemical serotonin plays a role in both depression and bladder function, the physiological changes brought on by one illness may set the stage for the other.
"We thought maybe we'd see it both ways. In some people because of chemical changes in the body, depression could lead to incontinence but in others, the cause would run the other way because of the psychologic reaction to incontinence," Melville told Reuters Health in a telephone interview.
They scoured data gathered over six years in the ongoing Health and Retirement Study of the financial and physical health of recent retirees in 70,000 households.
The investigators conducted two analyses. In the first, women who entered study with depression were examined to see if urinary incontinence developed. The second analysis looked at women who entered the study with urinary incontinence to see if depression was reported at follow-up.
In this sample of nearly 6,000 women with an average age of 59 years, "we just saw the one pathway, very strong, leading from depression to incontinence and in fact incontinence not leading to depression," Melville said.
The unambiguous results of the study were not expected, she admitted. "We were surprised at was how one-sided the effect looked."
http://www.reuters.com/article/healthNews/idUSTRE5AP35920091126
Doctors can use the findings in the current study "to counsel women with depression about a potentially increased risk for development of urinary incontinence or what to do if incontinence symptoms begin to emerge," Melville and her colleagues write in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology.
The loss of bladder control may take a large toll emotionally because of the impact it can have on daily life, they note in their report. Many people feel humiliated and helpless about their condition and restrict social and work activities as a result.
The findings, Melville and colleagues add, also highlight "the importance of addressing depression urgently as a public health priority," because of the effect it may have on other biological functions.
NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Older women who suffer from major depression are at greater risk of developing urinary incontinence than women of the same age who are not depressed, new research shows.
Since urinary incontinence and depression often occur together in women, Dr. Jennifer Melville from the University of Washington in Seattle and colleagues set out to determine if a causal relationship exists between the two conditions.
Previous studies demonstrated a high rate of depression among women being treated for urinary incontinence but none had examined whether one condition led to the other.
Melville's team hypothesized that because the brain chemical serotonin plays a role in both depression and bladder function, the physiological changes brought on by one illness may set the stage for the other.
"We thought maybe we'd see it both ways. In some people because of chemical changes in the body, depression could lead to incontinence but in others, the cause would run the other way because of the psychologic reaction to incontinence," Melville told Reuters Health in a telephone interview.
They scoured data gathered over six years in the ongoing Health and Retirement Study of the financial and physical health of recent retirees in 70,000 households.
The investigators conducted two analyses. In the first, women who entered study with depression were examined to see if urinary incontinence developed. The second analysis looked at women who entered the study with urinary incontinence to see if depression was reported at follow-up.
In this sample of nearly 6,000 women with an average age of 59 years, "we just saw the one pathway, very strong, leading from depression to incontinence and in fact incontinence not leading to depression," Melville said.
The unambiguous results of the study were not expected, she admitted. "We were surprised at was how one-sided the effect looked."
http://www.reuters.com/article/healthNews/idUSTRE5AP35920091126
Doctors can use the findings in the current study "to counsel women with depression about a potentially increased risk for development of urinary incontinence or what to do if incontinence symptoms begin to emerge," Melville and her colleagues write in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology.
The loss of bladder control may take a large toll emotionally because of the impact it can have on daily life, they note in their report. Many people feel humiliated and helpless about their condition and restrict social and work activities as a result.
The findings, Melville and colleagues add, also highlight "the importance of addressing depression urgently as a public health priority," because of the effect it may have on other biological functions.
Devoted distraction
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200903/devoted-distraction
Zoning out, spacing out, out-to-lunch, wool-gathering, building castles in the air. How many pejorative terms do we need to get the idea that daydreaming is an activity we don't think too highly of? And how many schoolkids have been reprimanded or teased for letting their minds meander when a teacher wanted them to focus on Something Important?
Yet, says neurologist Marcus Raichle of Washington University in St. Louis, "Everybody does it, they know they do it, and it's easy for people to relate to." In fact, psychologists and neuroscientists estimate that we spend between 15 and 50 percent of our waking hours daydreaming—that is, straying away from focused tasks or external stimuli to inner thoughts, fantasies, and feelings. And when our brain has nothing else in particular to do, it turns on and kicks into high intensity a whole neural network dedicated to reviewing what we already know and imagining possible worlds—in other words, daydreaming.
Until recently, however, daydreaming was considered not merely a waste of time but almost pathological: Old psychology textbooks warn that excessive daydreaming can propel one into insanity, and during the First World War, a United States army questionnaire included the statement "I daydream frequently" to screen out neurotic recruits. Even today, we're so down on distractibility, especially in the classroom, that we medicate kids who are prone to it.
Throughout the 20th century, "Only a handful of people were investigating daydreaming," says psychologist Jonathan Schooler of the University of California, Santa Barbara. "It was largely overlooked by mainstream psychology."
Zoning out, spacing out, out-to-lunch, wool-gathering, building castles in the air. How many pejorative terms do we need to get the idea that daydreaming is an activity we don't think too highly of? And how many schoolkids have been reprimanded or teased for letting their minds meander when a teacher wanted them to focus on Something Important?
Yet, says neurologist Marcus Raichle of Washington University in St. Louis, "Everybody does it, they know they do it, and it's easy for people to relate to." In fact, psychologists and neuroscientists estimate that we spend between 15 and 50 percent of our waking hours daydreaming—that is, straying away from focused tasks or external stimuli to inner thoughts, fantasies, and feelings. And when our brain has nothing else in particular to do, it turns on and kicks into high intensity a whole neural network dedicated to reviewing what we already know and imagining possible worlds—in other words, daydreaming.
Until recently, however, daydreaming was considered not merely a waste of time but almost pathological: Old psychology textbooks warn that excessive daydreaming can propel one into insanity, and during the First World War, a United States army questionnaire included the statement "I daydream frequently" to screen out neurotic recruits. Even today, we're so down on distractibility, especially in the classroom, that we medicate kids who are prone to it.
Throughout the 20th century, "Only a handful of people were investigating daydreaming," says psychologist Jonathan Schooler of the University of California, Santa Barbara. "It was largely overlooked by mainstream psychology."
Teen Angst Truns Deadly
Middle school years have never been easy ones for kids, but girls today are having a particularly tough time. The suicide rate for girls ages 10 to 14 increased a whopping 76 percent in 2004, according to the latest numbers available from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. For those between 15 and 18, the rate went up more than 30 percent.
Alan Berman, a psychologist and director of the American Association of Suicidology in Washington D.C., says although the increase is worrisome, it could be just a random fluctuation. But child and adolescent psychologists report that the prevalence of self-harming behaviors—like cutting and burning—is also rising.
Steve Hinshaw, a clinical and developmental psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley, believes a combination of cultural and parental pressures is to blame. His book, The Triple Bind: Saving Our Teenage Girls from Today's Pressures, argues that girls today are subjected to unrealistic pressures from society and the media, and their once-private identity struggles are now public, thanks to the Internet. Girls are still socialized to be nurturing caregivers but are now pressured to excel academically and athletically as much as boys—all while remaining thin, sexy, and beautiful.
Female role models, Hinshaw says, are "ultra-sexy, ultra-feminized women, like the female surgeons on Grey's Anatomy or swimsuit-modeling tennis players" like Ana Ivanovic. Long gone are the days when girls revered women like Dorothy Hamill, Joan Baez, or Gloria Steinem. Now every preteen aspires to be Gabriella Montez, the lead female character in Disney's High School Musical franchise, who is not only sexy but a Broadway-caliber dancer and singer and a soon-to-be freshman at Stanford.
Girls feeling pressure to achieve often go frenetically from one activity to the next, leaving little time to develop coping skills, laments Alec Miller, chief of child and adolescent psychology at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York. "They don't have unstructured time to just hang out with friends," he says. "Yet this is when kids learn how to tolerate frustration, regulate emotions, and solve problems."
They also lack the privacy needed to work through the emotional struggles of adolescence because of cell phones, instant messaging, and social networking sites. "Let's say things aren't going well in middle or high school and you email someone about it," Hinshaw says. "Soon it's all over everyone else's email, text messages, MySpace, Facebook. Everyone knows what's going on in your life and they're all talking about it. You can't escape it." —Eilene Zimmerman
Parental Control
What can parents do about the increasing pressures on young girls? Miller advises cutting down extracurricular activities and turning off the computer and cell phone so kids have time just being with themselves: "They should not be continuously connected, because they need time with their own thoughts." Hinshaw says the answer may be in getting middle-schoolers to think about something other than themselves, like ecology, politics, or community service: "They need a connection to something deeper than themselves, their friends, and their appearance."
Alan Berman, a psychologist and director of the American Association of Suicidology in Washington D.C., says although the increase is worrisome, it could be just a random fluctuation. But child and adolescent psychologists report that the prevalence of self-harming behaviors—like cutting and burning—is also rising.
Steve Hinshaw, a clinical and developmental psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley, believes a combination of cultural and parental pressures is to blame. His book, The Triple Bind: Saving Our Teenage Girls from Today's Pressures, argues that girls today are subjected to unrealistic pressures from society and the media, and their once-private identity struggles are now public, thanks to the Internet. Girls are still socialized to be nurturing caregivers but are now pressured to excel academically and athletically as much as boys—all while remaining thin, sexy, and beautiful.
Female role models, Hinshaw says, are "ultra-sexy, ultra-feminized women, like the female surgeons on Grey's Anatomy or swimsuit-modeling tennis players" like Ana Ivanovic. Long gone are the days when girls revered women like Dorothy Hamill, Joan Baez, or Gloria Steinem. Now every preteen aspires to be Gabriella Montez, the lead female character in Disney's High School Musical franchise, who is not only sexy but a Broadway-caliber dancer and singer and a soon-to-be freshman at Stanford.
Girls feeling pressure to achieve often go frenetically from one activity to the next, leaving little time to develop coping skills, laments Alec Miller, chief of child and adolescent psychology at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York. "They don't have unstructured time to just hang out with friends," he says. "Yet this is when kids learn how to tolerate frustration, regulate emotions, and solve problems."
They also lack the privacy needed to work through the emotional struggles of adolescence because of cell phones, instant messaging, and social networking sites. "Let's say things aren't going well in middle or high school and you email someone about it," Hinshaw says. "Soon it's all over everyone else's email, text messages, MySpace, Facebook. Everyone knows what's going on in your life and they're all talking about it. You can't escape it." —Eilene Zimmerman
Parental Control
What can parents do about the increasing pressures on young girls? Miller advises cutting down extracurricular activities and turning off the computer and cell phone so kids have time just being with themselves: "They should not be continuously connected, because they need time with their own thoughts." Hinshaw says the answer may be in getting middle-schoolers to think about something other than themselves, like ecology, politics, or community service: "They need a connection to something deeper than themselves, their friends, and their appearance."
Unexpectedly Expecting
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200901/unexpectedly-expecting
A teenage girl entered the emergency room with her mother, complaining of unexplainable and excruciating stomach pains. Then she gave birth. Both the teenager and her mother claimed they had no idea about the pregnancy before the delivery.
"I briefly interviewed this young woman and her family after the incident," says Nada Stotland, a professor of psychiatry and Ob/Gyn at Rush Medical College. "They seemed nice enough"—like a normal, healthy family. The teenager suffered from "denial of pregnancy"—a mysterious and rare disorder where a woman does not know she's pregnant until at least five months into gestation. Doctors estimate the prevalence at about one case per 200 to 600 deliveries. Such women, usually between the ages of 18 and 29, rarely present signs of pregnancy or show a belly, but may experience modest weight gain. Many also do not sense the baby kicking and continue to have menstrual-like bleeding.
Doctors are still perplexed by how women develop the condition in the first place. Social isolation, a history of substance abuse, and fear of pregnancy can all increase the risk. While most of the women do not suffer from a mental illness, psychiatric problems including mental retardation or major depression sometimes play a role.
"Denial of pregnancy is not well understood," says Stotland. "It does not have just one cause and it has not been well studied because most of the people involved do not seek or agree to psychiatric care."
A teenage girl entered the emergency room with her mother, complaining of unexplainable and excruciating stomach pains. Then she gave birth. Both the teenager and her mother claimed they had no idea about the pregnancy before the delivery.
"I briefly interviewed this young woman and her family after the incident," says Nada Stotland, a professor of psychiatry and Ob/Gyn at Rush Medical College. "They seemed nice enough"—like a normal, healthy family. The teenager suffered from "denial of pregnancy"—a mysterious and rare disorder where a woman does not know she's pregnant until at least five months into gestation. Doctors estimate the prevalence at about one case per 200 to 600 deliveries. Such women, usually between the ages of 18 and 29, rarely present signs of pregnancy or show a belly, but may experience modest weight gain. Many also do not sense the baby kicking and continue to have menstrual-like bleeding.
Doctors are still perplexed by how women develop the condition in the first place. Social isolation, a history of substance abuse, and fear of pregnancy can all increase the risk. While most of the women do not suffer from a mental illness, psychiatric problems including mental retardation or major depression sometimes play a role.
"Denial of pregnancy is not well understood," says Stotland. "It does not have just one cause and it has not been well studied because most of the people involved do not seek or agree to psychiatric care."
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Psychological Problems Related to Men with no Sex Drive
http://web4health.info/pl/answers/sex-no-desire-psy-m.htm
What are the psychological causes in men who don't want to make love?
Answer:
When talking about the psychological causes of not wanting sex, we refer to those thoughts, feelings or emotions that reduce the interest in sex. Because of fear and anger, sexual desire can disappear in certain situations. This may have several causes e.g fear of performance, fear of intimacy, fear of excitement, dissatisfaction with one's own body or suppression of events from childhood. Traumatic experiences can have a lot of influence on sexual desire. Sad experiences that haven't been dealt with, like the loss of a partner, nagging and conflicts in relationships can influence sexual desire negatively. Relational problems are often a cause. For all sorts of reasons, partners may become physically and personally less attractive to each other. Differences in sexual needs and the refusal of partners to respond to advances can lead to doubts about the self-image of the man, the woman or the self-image as the beloved partner.
Certain irrational thoughts, like refusing to have sex is the same as admitting an affair, can lead to a great disappointment or anger. A reduced interest in sex is also a frequent symptom of various psychiatric syndromes. The most frequent syndrome is depression.
Men and women experience sexual desire in a different way. Women see love, emotional intimacy and involvement as a goal, while men see sexual activity as the goal. Other factors can also negatively influence desire e.g psychological problems of the partner, stress and/ or relational problems. In the first meetings a sexologist will ask about these possible causes, so that your condition may be identified.
What are the psychological causes in men who don't want to make love?
Answer:
When talking about the psychological causes of not wanting sex, we refer to those thoughts, feelings or emotions that reduce the interest in sex. Because of fear and anger, sexual desire can disappear in certain situations. This may have several causes e.g fear of performance, fear of intimacy, fear of excitement, dissatisfaction with one's own body or suppression of events from childhood. Traumatic experiences can have a lot of influence on sexual desire. Sad experiences that haven't been dealt with, like the loss of a partner, nagging and conflicts in relationships can influence sexual desire negatively. Relational problems are often a cause. For all sorts of reasons, partners may become physically and personally less attractive to each other. Differences in sexual needs and the refusal of partners to respond to advances can lead to doubts about the self-image of the man, the woman or the self-image as the beloved partner.
Certain irrational thoughts, like refusing to have sex is the same as admitting an affair, can lead to a great disappointment or anger. A reduced interest in sex is also a frequent symptom of various psychiatric syndromes. The most frequent syndrome is depression.
Men and women experience sexual desire in a different way. Women see love, emotional intimacy and involvement as a goal, while men see sexual activity as the goal. Other factors can also negatively influence desire e.g psychological problems of the partner, stress and/ or relational problems. In the first meetings a sexologist will ask about these possible causes, so that your condition may be identified.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Why the Rich Are so Cold
http://blogs.wsj.com/wealth/2009/09/18/why-the-rich-are-so-cold/
This was a series of studies which was published in Psychological science. This study reveled that money indeed has power and can influence the amount of emotions a person feels. The more money the less emotional and physical pain a person feels. To prove this researchers tested subjects, allowing one group to count and stack of $100 bills, and another to counted a stack of black paper, afterwards immersing their hands into 109 degrees hot water, those who counted the money experienced less pain as opposed to the group which counted the black paper. In another research a group of students counted a stack of $100 and played computer game which they tossed a ball with other players. A few of the players were excluded from the game. Those who handled the money was not a distressed about been excluded from the game, those who handled the paper esteemed themselves lower than the others. Because money is associated to power and control it can influence responses to pain, physically and emotionally.
This was a series of studies which was published in Psychological science. This study reveled that money indeed has power and can influence the amount of emotions a person feels. The more money the less emotional and physical pain a person feels. To prove this researchers tested subjects, allowing one group to count and stack of $100 bills, and another to counted a stack of black paper, afterwards immersing their hands into 109 degrees hot water, those who counted the money experienced less pain as opposed to the group which counted the black paper. In another research a group of students counted a stack of $100 and played computer game which they tossed a ball with other players. A few of the players were excluded from the game. Those who handled the money was not a distressed about been excluded from the game, those who handled the paper esteemed themselves lower than the others. Because money is associated to power and control it can influence responses to pain, physically and emotionally.
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